Wednesday, March 6, 2013

file this under "Things I never wish I knew"

Castoreum is the exudate from the castor sacs of the mature North American Beaver.  Yes, that is exactly what you think it is, no need to run for the dictionary.  Why am I telling you about castoreum?  To share the pain.  You see, it is used as both a perfume additive (color me not surprised) and (gag) a food additive.  All those "natural flavorings," particularly strawberry, raspberry, and vanilla?  Yeah.  I'm not going to spell it out for you.  Those freaks over at the FDA, clearly having spent a few too many conferences whoopin' it up in Denver, shooting back Rocky Mountain Oysters and beer, deemed it "safe for consumption."

I'd like to blame the Scandinavians for this particular one.  After all, they came up with Bäverhojt and Bäversnaps.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Monday, Monday

I have a new smart phone and now my ass chirps every time something comes across one of the many apps I loaded onto it, but that's not the point of today's post.

My children attend an Arts elementary school.  That means there is singing and dancing and drama, and that's just home room.  Seriously, what it means to me is attending a continuous stream of plays, orchestra performances and art shows, all announced with little notice and a lot of urgency.  These events are often double as fundraisers for a school which relies on parent-raised money to pay the salaries of the Arts members of their crazy cast.  The district is currently trying to un-fund things they are supposed to pay for and these line items were never on the table.  Way to up the guilt factor, guys!

Friday, my oldest mentioned off-hand that he would be in a dance number, which he had learned that day, instead of just standing along the wall as a statue.  And that he needed to bring in a sheet to use as a toga.  The guidance from the school consisted of the following - "All students will need to provide their own costume which will consist of a sheet and accessories for a toga."  Medieval Nerf weaponry was transported via my silver chariot, carried in by my faithful knights and delivered to the castle.  I assumed my work here was done, at least insofar as accessories.  Along with the dance update, Thing One told me he "just need[ed] to bring in a sheet."  That actually matched what I had seen on paper so I handed him one out of the linen closet and thought no more of it.

Until today.  Monday.  When he comes back and tells me that everyone had brought in clothing bags (I was the only one who secured the costume in a hanging bag last go around...nice to see the idea catching on).  I pressed.  And pressed.  And grilled.  And quizzed.  Ferreting out information from the deep recesses of my son's brain until I had wrung it dry.

So now, the sheet will be joined by sandals, white shorts (yeah, I'm gonna find those somewhere), white shirt and possibly something to function as a belt...or at least safety pins.  And the Dancing Greek Statue?  He has learned to tie a very simple toga.  Thank God for YouTube.